To Facebook and friends
Original Posted on September 10, 2012
I don’t post much and for the past few days i have been wracking my brain as to how I am about to say what i want to say.
I will try to keep it as short and simple as I can.
As many of you know, over the past 2 years i have been in and out of hospital trying to treat a disease i was diagnosed with on January 28th 2011. On this day, i was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic
Leukaemia, and since have been constantly undergoing extensive and intensive treatment to try and overcome this disease. I have been extremely lucky to have had the amazing love and support or my family, my nurses and doctors and my friends – who have truly made this such and surreal and extraordinary experience.
In 2011, I had a few rounds of chemotherapy, which eventually led onto having a stem cell transplant in May of that year. After a long while recovering and letting my new immune system strengthen – we eventually moved back home to Buderim after living at one of the Leukaemia foundations Villages in Brisbane’s South, for nearly 10 months.
We moved back around October 2011, but were still as cautious with everything as we had always been. And always with the full knowledge that despite whatever treatment, in some circumstances (my own), that no matter what treatment you may receive, that these diseases may return or relapse at any time.
A few months later, in early February of 2012, we received a phone call from our Doctor, saying he had unfortunately found that some Leukaemic cells had return in my blood and that i had relapsed. Now it seemed the whole process that we had just lived through last year would start again. The next day i was back in hospital with my beautiful nurses again in ward 5C, along with my family by my side.
The year went on and although treatments have been tough – we made the promise to never give up (we had always had this pact), to always keep on going. We were lucky enough to get back into remission again after a few rounds of chemotherapy, and continued with the treatment regime dictated by our doctors.
Recently, my Leukaemia had again returned, yet as always we continued on with a new protocol, a new chemotherapy, with the hopes of getting into remission again.
Last monday, after three rounds of this new chemotherapy we had a routine bone marrow test, to see if the treatment was having any sort of effect, working. Results were back on Thursday when we consulted with our doctor. Simply, the cancer now has become to advanced, too used to the drugs its seen. From here on in, there just isnt anymore we can do to fight this disease.
They have given myself and my family a figure of around three months.
Of course it was difficult to hear that there is nothing left to do, or nothing that will offer any type of hope for a cure – but that’s life. And there isn’t any point in worrying about something that we have no control over.
It seems like it would be very easy to walk out of the office in complete shock and dismay, horror and sorrow, yet after hearing the news and absorbing it with dad by my side, and knowing that ‘this is what it is’, i just felt happy. We didn’t lose. We won. For two years, we did absolutely everything we needed to, took every tablet, never missed an appointment, always tried to keep fit and exercise, we always kept a level head and mentally, we never let the darkness behind this all consume us. We did all this while living the most amazingly surreal and rare experienced that this life could bring to anyone. And i got to do it all with the ones i love.
I am all too glad it was me who was chosen, because the love and wonder that i have been lucky enough to experience – i would trade for nothing in this world. Ive been given every materialistic thing anyone could want, and it brings me nothing of the happiness and elation i feel when I am with my family (that includes my nursing family!) and enjoying those simple things in life. The beautiful things that are too often taken for granted, great food, great people, and that wonderful and incredible action of taking in a deep lungful of fresh air while enjoying the colours and feelings of nature.
For the next few months i plan to sit back and truly enjoy the most simple of lives pleasures with the ones i love most. This way, how in the world can it be a negative or sad experience? I’m looking forward to having the happiest time of my life. Just as i have had for the last 2 years, the next few months will be no different.
There is too much philosophy in a lot of what i wish to say, and to those who i think should hear it, will. But in no way am i scared of what is to come, especially when i have so much happiness to look forward to. This was how my life was meant to be, and it played out to a T. I couldn’t be happier with a result like that.
Before i conclude my rant, there are a few other issues i wanted to bring up. I hope they do not offend, but i do hope that they are reflected upon, or even thought about.
Over these past two year – due to the constant treatment which often makes it very difficult to socialise and see friends and people in person – Facebook has been a great tool for me to keep in both contact with people but also to just observe how people are acting and what that are doing and saying, because honestly, as an observant person – you starve for social information.
We have met the most incredible, beautiful and generous people during our times in hospital. People who face such extreme diversity – who’s lives are so tremendously difficult – yet no matter what, you will always be greeted with a smile and a handshake, a wave and a great conversation. It has been so embarrassing and very offending at times to have a wonderfully enlightening day at the hospital, then to return home to the unit and check Facebook to read some of the petty and insignificant issues that always seem to pop up. These small imperfections, in near perfect lives, just being over exaggerated to gain as much personal attention as possible. its been hard to watch, especially When people are so wiling to be friendly and happy for you, although in reality – life for these people is far, far from perfect.
So next time you post a picture of your staunch athletic body, or your vomit from a night of self inflicted idiocracy, or even your bacon and egg breakfast that no on ever gave a sh*t about, just try and think about the sick people with REAL problems, and REAL smiles. Some of you – not all, just need to grow up, and pull your heads out. And welcome yourselves to the real world, where its not all about promoting you. And of course this doesn’t apply to everyone – just a minority.
Now i ask Three final things from you all.
The first being this. Now that you know all of this information, i ask you to please respect my families privacy. I, nor do my parents, nor does my brother or sister want a thousand phone calls and texts apologising and wanting to catch up and all that, we are a strong unit and are handling things in our own way. We want to spend the next few months catching up with the people we love most, the ones who have stuck by us this entire journey. The ones who have just been there. Primarily, you know who you are you. and we will be seeing you soon. If you need to contact me, please just leave a message on Facebook, or write me a written letter, i like them. Tell me and ill sort out how to get it. Feel free to tell people everything i have said here, just make sure its done with respect.
Secondly, i ask that my passing is to never be brought up between my siblings in a negative way, teasing, bullying, you know the go. I trust in my best friends to always look out after them and to help and guide them in the most sensible and proactive ways they can, or whenever they need it. And if anyone was ever thoughtless enough to say something harmful – i trust that whomever was immature enough to say such things, will be ‘persuaded’ to never say anything of the like again. to anyone.
Lastly, i will ask you to all keep on supporting ‘Team Adem’ and the Leukaemia Foundation in the years to come. Although i wont be here to be part of this amazing cause, i want next years Worlds Greatest Shave to be the biggest and the best ever! and the year after that, and the year after that too. So go Team Adem!
The Foundation have truly changed my families lives, and they everyday continue to change the lives of countless other families who are dealing with these illnesses, with the incredible support they offer. It truly has been so humbling to be part of the Foundations support. Withe the funds raised, not only do families benefit by being given places to stay while patients have to live close to hospital, as well as the amount of ongoing social support, funds are funneled directly into research toward finding cures for these terrible diseases. I know in my heart that the cure is just around the corner. We will find a cure, its just a matter of time.
There is too much more i feel i can say, but i shall leave it at this.
Thank you all so dearly for the amazing love and support over the past two years. And over the past 18 years. Thank you for every good time. For Making me who i am. Thanks.
From the bottom of my heart, i love you all and wish you all the very best in every endeavour you may ever embark, to create what is your very own, individual and beautiful story, which we call life. Mine has been just that, and having this knowledge – that i have lived my life, i have never been happier. I only wish you all get to experience something as mystical, transcendental, magnificent as i have had in my pleasure of ‘living’.
With all my love,